I have talked about this previously. But having talked to several more men online and their impressions and the reactions to those impressions that they had – thought to get more detailed on the topic.

A photo is like a thousand words it is said. So making the choice of the photo that you feel best represents you is important. There is a reason that I make such an obvious comment – just because YOU view a photo one way does NOT mean that the man is going to be viewing it with the same end results.

Examples follow from conversations had recently with several different men.

First was a man that got an email from a woman that wrote to him after viewing his profile saying that she too was having problems with contacting the type of person that she was looking for. Since he had never seen her profile and wanted to read it first before making a reply (actually a COMMON PRACTICE by many on internet dating sites) – he is telling me that he totally understands WHY she is having a problem getting men that are serious. Being the person that I am I of course asked him to explain. Seems that her main photo was a closeup of her face – and that she had what looked to be a chicken leg almost totally shoved into her mouth. He asked her about the choice of photos and her reply was that it was the only current one that she had and she thought that it reflected a playful side of her and actually did show her face – and it was the only current photo she had! I asked him what he thought of the photo. His view FLOORED ME! He said that guys would look at it, the mouth wide open and the possibility of maybe fitting the whole thing in her mouth as a come-on!

Hearing the above, it was just plain hard for me not to laugh out loud – I did fight that urge and won. I told him that personal view is that I NEVER would have put a photo on with me shoving food in my face as I just couldn’t see that as flattering in any shape or form.

Point being – just because you don’t see something as sexual doesn’t mean that there evidently aren’t men out there that will see it exactly that way or at the very least something sexual in something you haven’t considered that way at all.

Then there is this next example from another man that I talked to today. He said that he was going thru profiles (better known as ONLY looking at the PHOTOS) – and he comes across this woman in a blouse that doesn’t cover everything by a long shot. She has got the cleavage on the top going on – and she is coming out the bottom of the blouse. It is out there to be seen and served up for any and all to see. So, he takes it upon himself to write to her and tell her that he thought she had beautiful breasts. Her reply – she BLOCKED him from any further contact.

Now, I don’t know about you – but if someone has got it out there and showing it to the world – to get offended because someone makes a comment about it doesn’t make sense at all. Goes with what I said in the other posting about it. I admit that I have photos on my profile that show my legs – a feature that it seems a lot of men like to look at on me – along with other parts. But the fact of the matter is – they are actually seeing little. It is an illusion. Laying under a Christmas tree – I know that I am going to get comments like ‘Santa never put anything like that under my tree before’ more times than I know since I quit counting. It happens. But what you present AFTER getting them to making some sort of comment because of a photo – is all in your ballpark and what you write and say.

I have some men that are actually SHOCKED that I can carry on a conversation on a variety of topics – as if a woman with others think of as good looking legs can’t form an opinion. I then take it upon myself to educate them about such. The impression that they have then is no longer just based on a photo – but on other things as well. Sometimes I find men that actually really DO want to get to know me past the ‘legs’ and will write, some talking on the phone, a few even going so far as wanting to meet in person.

So ASK someone else – best more than one someone that is of the opposite sex – to look at the photo you are making choice to put as your main profile photo. If they are HONEST – and don’t choose them if they are not going to be – they will TELL you if it looks close enough to how you look now – any sexual undertones that they might get from just looking at the photo.

I was talking to a woman friend that asked me why she was getting all these come on’s from an internet dating site. Asked her to show me her profile. As he main photo, she was standing there in a lovely white dress, hair blowing in the wind. BUT upon looking closer and trying to see things within her profile that might be part of the problem – when taking the time to really look CLOSELY at the photo – - you could see THROUGH the dress – nothing drastic – but the legs clearly could be seen standing there with her legs not together. She never noticed that about the photo – but I can bet you that the men that were sending the suggestive emails had.

My advice to her was to either change the photo, maybe put it where it could still be seen, just not the main photo. Reason? Because the only ones that would then see it are those that take the time to actually OPEN her profile vs. just going by quick glances at a mass of photos on a page. Thus at least she would have a 50/50 chance of someone that actually read the profile and not just was lusting after a photo.

- OR -

Leave the photo as is and then use it to see if she could attempt to get them into conversation and finding out more about her other than her physical attributes.

No matter what approach you take, know the possible results of that choice. Don’t just go blindly thinking that they will know what you mean because they don’t. Don’t be shocked by sexual comments because some are going to make them. If you want to continue on in that type of conversation – your choice. But fun to also see if you can get them onto more basic things such as likes and dislikes, lifestyle and things that they like to do for fun, where they like to go for fun – all not from a sexual point of view of course (unless that is the direction you want to go that is).

The possibilities for negatives abound with internet dating. Being someone that you are not – not hard at all since anyone can make any claim on the internet to be who and what they are not based upon fact. You have to learn to sift through the players to find the real thing. There is also the possibility to find nice people that even if you don’t end up in whatever type of relationship that your looking for, you have new friends. I actually have developed such relationships from online dating sites.

You will find that you kissing lots of frogs before you find your prince. That is a given. If it was all that easy to find someone to have an actual for real relationship with – would there even be internet dating sites?

Know what it is that you want in a prospective partner. Know what it is that you can not accept. Know who you are and present that person to the other. Just know that all relationships don’t end up in serious relationships and meeting that special person that you want in your life usually isn’t going to happen the first, second, or even third person that you go out with. It MIGHT, but usually doesn’t work out that way.