The list is a long one to find a site that is for finding a date/relationship/quick pick up. Call it anything that you would like, the results are pretty much the same no matter which site you go to. I know that some claim that the paid sites are better, but frankly I have seen no difference, results are pretty much the same no matter the site.

Let’s talk about the paid sites first. You still have to fill out the profile that I have written about before. You still have the option of putting up a photo. Initial contact is made using their system of email. The only way that someone can get personal information about you is – if you tell them.

Next there are the free sites. You still have to fill out the profile that I have written about. You still have the option of putting up a photo. Initial contact is made using their system of email. The only way that someone can get your personal information is if you tell them.

So pretty much they are both the same except for the cost factor – one is free the other charges. Some will make claims otherwise. All I can say is that I write what I have written from personal experience. That someone else has had a different experience than mine – very possible. All I can write about is the insights that I have learned from my own experience and share those that I have learned from others that have used such sites.

So onto the experiences of others since mine is that both are the same – paid or unpaid site. Negatives can go into the loss of money as well as pride (and more) because of contact with negative types – positives can go to an actual healthy and loving relationship.

I have known of women that have been on paid sites that had very negative experiences. One was a woman that wrote for an extended period of time to a man – talked with him on the phone – after an extended period of time agreed to meet at a place that was middle ground for both of them as they didn’t live in the same part of the state. When she got there to meet him – he did indeed show up – but evidently guilt had gotten to him – he admitted to being married. Easy to conclude that this was NOT a match made in heaven and was ended before it went further by the woman.

On the opposite side of the pole I can tell of a woman that met someone on a paid site. Wrote to him for months (he was in Iraq). They sent email to each other. They did video conversations on the internet. Months later he was transferred back to the states – they met. He actually is a very nice young man (have met him myself) and they have gotten married recently.

Totally opposite endings from a paid site that I personal know of.

For the unpaid sites just take what I have written above and put “unpaid site” in place of “paid site”. No difference at all. Both views played out on them as well.

A footnote to the above is that meeting people from each site has actually developed friendships that were not romantic but friends. So some good can come out of each site as well as the negative with meeting people that you wouldn’t take to a dog fight. Sort of the crap shoot of life in effect which is something that we run into every day of our life.

What I am starting to find interesting is the type of people that go to such sites – the personality, the mindset, the thought process that many have that are on these sites. For no matter if it is a paid or free site, the personality of the people involved is pretty much similar – a point that I am trying to figure out how to address in such a way to at least bring some light to the topic.

For the mature person on such sites, I find that many of us are wounded. We have had bad relationships in the past and don’t want them in the future. So these sites turn into a wonderful cushion of sorts to help us to keep from that ‘baggage’ that so many will write about not having (but if they have lived life DO) and addressing the issues so that we can have a healthy relationship with someone. The insecurities that all of us have that we tend not to really want to look at – because at times it is just plain painful – but needs to be addressed. I don’t know about you – but the thought of me as an old woman with no one to share life with in a close, loving, caring relationship is a tad on the scary side to me. I grew up in a time when old men and women walked hand in hand – thick and thin – and were with the other as the grey came into their hair and their walk began to slow.

All the above is issues that we need to address in the life that we live in as a single person – a person that is even searching for on the internet for that special person that we can have such with – a person that is really searching for that special relationship where we not only feel completed because of the relationship with the other person, but that they feel the same way because of a relationship with us.

For such to happen we first must find out who and what we are. Find out what it is that we really want. Discover what it is that we will not put up with in another. We need to be sure of just who we are first.