Dating at my age is like walking in a minefield and not having the map to show you where the mines are. Add to the mix the ‘new’ way of dating and I am totally lost.

The horror stories abound about all the negatives that can be found in internet dating. So it makes one wonder if there is such a thing as a positive when it is added to the mix. I have to say that positives can be found but not to expect them to just jump out at you, that it more than likely will take some time before you find it.

As a person that has been on an online dating site, I have to say that he negatives hare really out weighed the positives. BUT – there have indeed been positives.

I now have people that I email with that are homebound and the only way that they get out is via the internet. That they are on a dating site hoping to find someone that is willing to accept them for who and what they are along with their medical condition – a testament to the reality that there are people out there that really want to have close relationships, need relationships, reaching out in the only way that they can. In me, they have found a ‘friend‘.

I also have gone out with and become friends with several of them off the dating site. Most are totally crazy such as myself, finding humor in the smallest of things and able to laugh at it. We can talk for hours on the phone making each other laugh, cut-up and have fun when we are together. In me, they have found a ‘friend’.

But such is not what the sites are really set-up to do. One is suppose to be able to go on these sites and find that person that they would not normally run into and find that special ‘someone’. That person that you compliment in who and what they are and they do the same for you.

So far, I have not found that person. As a woman that is about to turn 57, I am wondering if such really is in my future. I reflect upon my wasted youth. I go over the many ‘mistakes’ that I have made in life. At times, I even resent the fact that my husband died so young. I just wasn’t prepared for that – his death. No real warning at all – him being 8 years younger than myself. Just wasn’t something that I thought would happen – not to ME.

So here I sit at home. I have my dog, my birds, fish, my companions. No need to worry about so many things that I ‘need’ to do since the only one that I have to please if – myself. That fact makes me wonder. Am I really WANTING a relationship – or have I become so comfortable after 5 years of being single with the date here and there with no real commitment?

What is it that I am sending out in that profile online? How much does it really reflect of who or what I am – or who and what you are?

I have come to the thought that the biggest ‘problem’ (if that is what it is to be labeled) with online dating is the individuals involved – which includes ME. I sure am not going to tell on my profile that I really don’t want to be the expert homemaker, able to bake breads, cookies, any dish that one could possibly want. It isn’t that I can’t do those things – just not a priority in my life at this time. I do them – only as they need to be done – and usually after I am pressed into it. Now days, I really prefer to take it slower than I have in the past, really take time to smell those ‘roses’ that people talk so much about. I want to take time to ENJOY things and people more vs. keep the all mighty schedule.

This isn’t an overall endorsement of online dating. It is more of a making a point that with the known negatives there can be positives. Just have to make sure that we don’t close our eyes to the negatives while looking for that positive. It is a juggling act, the juggling act of life. We balance. Balance being the keyword to what really is what we all want in our life.