When you are doing online dating, the topic of chatting will come up. Different than email where one can think and backspace a comment before hitting send. It is seen pretty much within moments of being written and the send button is hit. Several different programs that people will use to chat live online – Yahoo being popular, but not to forget MSN messenger as well. Sites many times will have the option as when you are on their site. There are other programs. You will both have to be using the same program to chat. I know that sounds sort of foolish to write that – but have actually talked to some that didn’t know that everyone had to be using the same program to chat.

You will normally have to set-up an account to be able to use which ever program that you are using – which means that you have another email address that you can use as well. All the usual inconvenience comes with it – making the choice of a user name, profile information – just a smaller scale than the dating site itself. When all of this is done, you have downloaded the program that you are going to be using to chat with – you need contacts to talk to.

On a dating site, when the topic comes up someone will give the other their user name or ask for your user name for whatever program it is that they are using. You then put that name in and send them an invite. Till you send an invite or they send an invite and you or the other person accepts the invite – can’t chat online.

Take time to get to know the software that you are using to chat with.

You can “block” people – meaning that you can make it so that they can’t send you anything or see when you are online. Use this ONLY if the other person is someone that you really want NOTHING to do with at all after the initial acceptance to chat.

You can appear “invisible” – meaning that you are indeed online, but no one can see that you are online. Nice feature as there are some people that you just may not feel up to talking to at the moment. Since you have the email account, you may really just want to jump on and get the email that is there.

You can also appear to selected individuals as online but off line to everyone else. This is really good when you are wanting to talk to a particular person – or just leave it online while doing things so that they can send you quick notes vs. emails..

Etiquette for chatting online

Spelling in chat is one of those things that is not as important a factor as when sending emails. Slip ups on spelling are common. You will also pickup on the shortcuts that many take – “tks” (thanks), “uok” (you ok), “luv ya” (love you – NOT to be seen as a serious comment when written this way), just tons of them. If you are one that texts on the phone, you know what I mean and have seen it more than likely.

There are also little symbols that you use to convey emotions – (smile), (frown), (sticking tongue out), >:) (devilish grin), etc. On most of the chat programs you will find that they have action emotions that will move up and down, and all you have to do is to pull the menu down to access them and send them to the person your chatting with.

To type all in caps is considered to be “yelling”. So avoid that – unless you are indeed wanting to make emphasis of particular words.

Chatting in general

Since this form of ‘talking’ is pretty much instant, be aware of the information that you are giving out. Telling someone that you are chatting mobile and that you are not home – and you may have previously told them where you lived – leaving yourself open to someone that very well may not be the most honest of people.

Always remember that just because a person says it to you in chat or you read it somewhere on the internet doesn’t make it fact. Repeating that again – Do NOT believe that just because someone writes something to you or you read it on the internet makes it FACT. NEVER leave your common sense in the other room to pick up later cause, ‘It’s just the internet’.

The topics can be on anything that the both of you want to talk on. Realize that people will type something many times that they would NEVER say if they were face to face with you. The anonymous factor of the internet tends to open doors for many in ways that they will write something that in ‘real life’ they never would have dreamed of saying. Not that it wasn’t on their MIND – just that moral guard that we have in day to day relationships is totally different when online.

Many people use this as a form of sexual gratification. Terms such as ‘being chatted up’ or ‘hot chat’ are just two of the terms I have heard used for such. You need to be to the point if this comes up and let the other person know if this is something that you are wanting or willing to participate in. Many times those that are into this sort of chatting are not the type of people that ever really want to meet the other person face to face – or if they do, they usually want to meet for obvious reasons. So if this is something that you have been doing online with someone and they want to meet face to face – don’t be shocked if the talk of sex comes up and the real possiblity that they are thinking that you are more than willing to have sex with them.

Webcam/mic

A webcam is a feature that allows the other person to see you live while you are chatting. Many times, people will also make the choice that instead of typing they prefer to use a mic and talk. Talking online is also another very common feature of online chatting.

Finding out if the person really LOOKS like what they claim is something that many are not open to. Blows the cover on those that like to claim they are 6’2″ tall man and in great physical shape – when the reality is they are 5’3″ and the body type is anything but ‘athletic’.

You can use this form for any style of chatting – be it normal conversation or sexual – the choice is yours.

Basic approach to chat software use

I STRONGLY SUGGEST that you double check your settings on your chat program to make SURE that NO ONE ELSE can enter in on your private conversation or view your webcam. Take the time to get to know the software. If the software does an update – check to see what changes have happened to the program and if your settings were changed to their version of ‘default settings’ vs. your personal settings.

Make sure that you do not put any personal information out where it is open to public viewing – unless that you are wanting all the public to be able to access that information. Some of these setting are NOT on the chat program and are found at the site where you got the program from – usually accessible where the email is with a click of the mouse.

NEVER ASSUME. No matter if it is about the person that your chatting with, what they are telling you in chat, or about the software. ALWAYS use common sense and there is nothing wrong with checking things out.