You have your profile. You have been contacted or made contact with someone from a dating site. Something that few like to talk about or even mention – is the being stood up. It happens. Happen more than people like to admit to. I have been stood up more times that I would like to admit to. These comments are directed to that part of online dating.

Why do they stand up the other person? Don’t know. I have some thoughts as to WHY – but don’t really know as none has ever openly stated why they do. My thoughts go this

way on the topic.

1. They are married and the spouse made plans that they can’t get out of.

2. They lied so badly on the profile that to actually meet someone face to face is just not a possibility. The photo that they have up on their profile isn’t them, there is really no way for them to actually meet someone face to face.

3. They are talking to several others at the same time and they are really over booked in their dating.

First one first. As I have already stated, I honestly believe that many on dating sites really are indeed married. Why they do this I have covered previously. To ignore the very possible answer would be to turn a blind eye to reality.

Second point. I have actually run into this one. Pictures that one would swear at the least came from high school, they most definitely do not look like the photo at all – even possible to really believe that they never were the person in the photo. It is their only outlet for human contact – if one can call ‘talking’ on the internet human contact.

Many times they will want to set up video calls with you in chat – but for some reason their camera is just not working. True, it could be broken – more than likely it isn’t – just that they really don’t want you to see the real them. Speaking only from my own perspective – I don’t go out with people based totally on their looks. Never have – well, take that back – ex husband was a BABE when he was younger (and had the women chasing him to prove it) – but with maturity I have moved away from that as the ‘deal breaker’. Someone that can talk, sense of humor, an actual brain that can make interesting conversation is indeed very much a turn-on. Point being, to each their own approach to what they find ‘attractive’ and ‘exciting’ in a prospective date.

Third one. Oh gosh, have I run into this one – as well as being guilty of this one as well. You have so many that are hitting with requests at one time, so many to make a choice from – overwhelmed to the point that there is no way that you could really meet and give an honest open possibility of relationship with. ‘Rude’? Very much so. But till someone gets to the point of knowing how to sift through all that is coming at them, insights on who and what to pick as a prospective date – it is going to happen.

It also happens to those that are known as ‘game players’. No real help for you on this one as this is one of those that you just learn about from experience. Not a comforting thought, but does seem to work out that way. To be warned about such is to be armed to protect yourself from such – and when and if it happens – just more to add to your knowledge and better able to protect yourself in the future.

The wonderful and scary thing about all of this is that you will be able to add points to the ones that I am making. There are going to be situations and settings that I have not covered that you are going to have to rely on your own wits and common sense to get through. Wonderful thought there, huh?

None of us have all the answers (least of all myself). All we have is the ability to share with others and hope that with the sharing we garner some insights and helpful hints so that maybe, just MAYBE we really MIGHT come across that needle in the ocean person that really is ‘right’ – maybe not ‘right’ for anyone else, but they are for us. That is what we all are looking for. A relationship where we can be who and what we are – warts and all – and the other person still is with us, still there sharing, still there caring. A song comes to mind as I type that last part, “To dream, the impossible dream……”

Not to lose heart. As seen on television last week I believe it was, there were all sorts of people outside with the announcers that had met on dating sites and had actual for real relationships with someone! So it can happen. But I also feel the need to put in that we never should close our eyes to what is around us in our day to day life. All the people that we come in contact with, say ‘Hi’ to, make conversation with – you never know if by just reaching out the smallest bit and taking a chance at being closer – that the other person was stumbling on finding something to say to YOU because for a long time – - YOU were the person that they have been wanting to go out with.

So don’t depend on just one approach. Open your eyes to the world around you and don’t just limit it to the cyber world that too many have come to depend on for finding someone to share their life with. It all starts with a smile and a willingness to see the other for who and what they are, being who and what you are. A common sense approach, no blinders on that block things that we don’t want to see (but need to see).

One thing I can say with almost certainty. If the other person is really being open and honest with you – they are just as nervous as you are. There is a comfort in knowing that. See, you already do have something in common – now to find out if it is something that can be built into a loving relationship – which is going to take time, a willingness to listen, and really consider everything before you.

Remember – know what are the deal breakers for you to consider having a relationship with someone. Know what it is that you expect from a prosepective person that you are considering dating. Remember that it is ok to ask questions of the other person and expect answers that are believeable and truthful. Talking and getting to know the other person is the only way to do it – and that takes TIME. Don’t get rushed. Don’t forget that you are indeed worth the wait!