You have your profile completed. Put up photos that your are comfortable with up there for others to see. Email notification comes. Now what to do?

Well, first thing I suggest is to read the email. Some go with the thought that looking at the profile first to determine if this is a person that you want to see – I go with the email. Reason being – some people have no photos – some take bad photos. I don’t base a choice on that sort of thing – women while they can be visual creatures tend to get more from what is said/written. I have known some beautiful women that were with men that were not much in the looks department – not so great looking women with great looking men. So from my point of view – I go with the initial email.

Now there are some that are just really bad at spelling. For some this is going to be a ‘red flag’ of sorts. For me it isn’t. I have long nails and constantly am hitting wrong keys and forget to proofread something before I send it. But for someone that has an English major background, a school teacher – these things might be a turn off for you. Choice is yours. Just remember that many can’t spell worth a hoot and do know how to use spellcheckers – so that perfect spelling might be not their own.

Many times you will have the step of talking on the phone – which I actually would suggest. If it gets to the place of possibly actually meeting – having a number to reach them at to tell them you are running late – or worse yet, totally lost and need help with getting there – a PLUS.

Usually the first email is something along the lines of ‘love your picture/profile’, maybe a ‘sure would like to get to know you’ approach. Most exchange a few emails, trying to get a ‘feel’ of what the other person is and like. Reason? They went through the same nightmare that you did when you were making yours and also just as shocked when they sat back and looked at it at how much it really left out about who and what they are.

So if after a few emails, a few phone calls, you are feeling somewhat comfortable – time to set up meeting the other person. Not to be taken lightly – and actually going to be serious on this point. MAKE IT A PUBLIC PLACE. Even after the initial meeting, keeping it public would be a good approach to take. A simple look at many of the not so positives make the evening news all the time – don’t be a statistic.

Now to decide just what it is that you are going to wear for the first meeting.

1. You want to wear something that you are going to be comfortable in. Wear something that reflects you. If your a t-shirt bluejean sort of woman – go with a nice blouse/t-shirt and jeans. If you are a woman that likes dresses – go with a dress. When you are comfortable, it reflects from within you to those you around you.

2. Don’t go ‘Tammy Faye’ with the makeup since truth is most of us wear it in a way that it really looks like we have little of none on.

3. Where to park and you would think that such really isn’t all that important – it is. I always park as close to where I am to go so as to not have to walk in a dark parking lot, where others can see me and my car. Added benefit – if they decide to walk you to your car, not much of a chance for them to get too much with the hands. Maybe a kiss and a hug if things went well – but nothing worse.

3. INTRODUCE YOURSELF – meaning walk up to them, say something like, ‘Hello, I am <fill in the blank with your name>. Reason – many of us will forget to put our NAMES at the bottom of emails and they may have forgotten! How many times when you are speaking on the phone do you use the other persons name? I admit it – I am not great with names and assume others may not be either. If you hold such against the other – a choice that you are going to have to make. So a simple, ‘Glad to meet you, I am <fill in the blank with your name>. I know that I have written this twice but many times it is hard to do when the person that you just walked up to looks NOTHING like their photo – and their ‘athletic body’ they claimed on their profile looks like it went on vacation and hasn’t been back in a few years. TRUST ME – they are making the same observations about you as well.

4. SMILE! A smile opens doors that many times may be closed. This is your first meeting and you really would like to at least get an impression if this person is someone that you would at the very least like as a FRIEND. Just trust me on this one – or better yet – ask married friends about their spouse. I am willing to bet that they actually were FRIENDS with their spouse before things got SERIOUS and onto another level. So that you also want to make such a positive impression is a given.

5. Have something to say. Be it about the traffic on your way there or just something as simple that you are finally glad to meet the person that you have been writing to or talking to on the phone. Go from that and see where it goes. Communication is one of the biggest problems that relationships have no matter what gender is asked. If you can’t talk person to person, the chances of it going further, the ‘next step’ is pretty much out of the picture.

6. Going from the point of view that you very well might not feel any attraction to this person at all – have an EXIT PLAN. I actually got this insight from a man that I dated. We agreed that he would be part of my ‘exit plan’. Example – you are to meet someone for the first time. The person is nothing as you expected, totally opposite of the person that you would be around in any situation in life. Maybe they are too much with the hands. Doesn’t matter since you have the ‘exit plan’. It goes like this. All the red flags have gone up and you are wanting to get out as fast as you. Go to the restroom and call your friend and ask for them to make the phone call. Or have it setup so that they will call you at a set time so that you can answer it, say something has come up and you need to get home. TADA! You have NOW met the person, found out that they were not your type – AND you didn’t have to waste alot of time with that sort of person. Everyone saves face – everyone learned something – move on.

As a footnote to all the above – go through and look at who is looking at your profile. See the type of person that your profile is attracting. If it isn’t attracting the type of person that you want to go out with – time to rethink about what it is within the profile that needs to be changed. Sounds easy – but it is going to be a trial on your nerve. For whatever reason, I always seem to get the type of men that I would actually be attracted that look at my profile and even contact me – live at least 300 miles away. In the exchange of email with them – cause I DO answer all emails – I ask them what it is that attracted them and use that information in the quest to improve my profile to possibly meet the type of man that would not only be interested in me, me in him as well – and that isn’t a day trip to get to the point of meeting.

I also have the theory that most people on dating sites are more than likely married. They are on the quest of looking for something that brings excitement to their otherwise boring life and bringing in the spice that they feel that they need to make it livable to be in the relationship that they are in now. Really no way to protect yourself from such. Even at meetings with so many that don’t wear rings – or if they are they are wearing some other ring on their hand to cover the pale band that we all have come to know as the mark of a cheating spouse.

Be aware. Remember that you have a value as a human being. Remember that you have nothing to prove other than who you are. There is no rush and don’t allow yourself to be rushed into something that you are not comfortable with. Bottom line is to be safe. Be who you really are – that wonderful woman that any man would be blessed to have within his life if he wants to take the time to get to know you. Respect really is the name of the game of dating. A game that we all want to win the prize at.