If you are caring for someone, I know you are probably overwhelmed, so I’m sending an action plan for you. For now, concentrate on numbers 1 and 2. The rest will happen when you need them. It is my fervent hope that you don’t need this. If not, then nothing has been lost and you have educated yourself on a new subject.

1. First is to surf the web and find everything you can find. There is tons. You need to know the language used, the progression to be expected, the kinds of support and care available, and your options.
2. Second is to start on your support system. Do not be embarrassed to talk to anyone you see. You will be surprised at the number of people who have had to go through the same thing. Out of every 10 people you talk to, 5 will be able to talk from experience. Talk to doctors, nurses, neighbors, shoppers, clergy, etc. etc. etc. They need to know. You will need help making decisions.
3. Third is to start thinking of alternatives. Your priority should be the safety of everyone. Do not wait until safety is an issue. Address it head on. Be aware that wandering and becoming lost will be a big issue at some point. Cold, traffic, animals, and violence are all consequences of not being willing to face reality. Know that it can happen and that it is not intentional. Understand that the normal thought processes are all missing and that there is tremendous confusion which leads to anger and violence as an automatic coping mechanism.
4. Fourth is to keep your children (if any) informed along the way. You may or may not want to go into detail depending on what they can deal with, but they need to know what you are doing and you need to stress that you are trying to protect yourself along with them. They have a right to expect their mother to be safe.
5. At some point, you will start to feel guilty about needing to find a care facility. Don’t. You can feel sad, angry, depressed, and grief; but don’t add guilt to the mixture. Education and proactive action will help you avoid guilt. You can’t stop this any more than you can wish for the sun to not come up every morning.
6. Realize that inability to eat, get dressed, go for walks, have discussions, sit still, and be left alone are all signals that will tell you to take action. Be looking for them so that you will be capable of making the right decisions. But remember that the basis for action will be everyone’s safety.
7. Be proactive. Do not think it will go away if you just ignore it. Do not try to do it all yourself. It is not your fault. Life has very strange twists and turns. There are all sorts of ailments in the world and working with disabled adults tells you some of the ways people can be afflicted. It won’t be easy and it won’t be fun, but don’t leave anything to chance. Don’t wish, sometime in the future, that you should have done more. Do more now so that you will be at peace later – and believe me you will.